callmeoutis:

armorgan66:

hints-of-sarcasm:

There needs to be a phrase for “I acknowledge your apology and appreciate it but it does not make things better.” instead of just saying “It’s okay.” all the time. 

I recognize the council has made an apology, but given that it is a stupid ass apology, I have elected to ignore it.

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thank you director fury

(via doughnot)

343,759 notes
omgbuglen:

I’m sure this seemed like a better idea on paper
amandafiske:

My home<3

littleblackangelwings:

oldsportyspice:

When you get a test and you actually understand all the questions.

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Oh my god, I accidentally said that aloud during a test once and someone behind me said “That’s wonderful, Chekov. Now if you please, return to your post and continue,” in a Spock voice.

(via doughnot)

217,922 notes

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

(via thisiskwilli)

1,008,532 notes

(Source: chespin, via terror-and-hubris)

27,130 notes

tortillah:

remember when zack and cody entered a parallel universe

and london was smart

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and maddie was dumb

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and esteban was a woman

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(via swag-master-2000)

426,797 notes

bootybar:

when ur family come over for dinner and ask what youve been up to
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(via trust)

262,860 notes

lasagnababy:

when rappers brag about being rich and breaking the law but then whine when people illegally download their music

image

(via trust)

148,300 notes